Blog Stupid

Mmmm... I hear that the Obama pill tastes yummy going down and has a slick coating to prevent choking.

When Obama responds to a question with an answer that is anything other than a prodigious collection of "uhs" interspersed with vapid counterfeit eloquence, I will be interested in hearing what his ideas are.

But, let's assume that we're talking about the plans that Obama reads aloud for his audiences from the almighty and knowledgeable teleprompters...

I like that Obama is presenting policies for this country that have already failed miserably in other countries and in history. I especially like his Marxist-inspired ideas of spreading my hard-earned wealth around to those who have not. It drives me to want to work harder. It really does. I'm also hoping that someday I will be given a sweet gray-colored jumpsuit and made to ride a 10-person-wide moving sidewalk into my Big Government job where I can drown in mediocrity and where I can lose all individuality and inspiration for creativity and innovation. That is SURE to move the country forward, so I'm told.

If I cared to have my hard earned wealth stolen from me... I'm sorry, "redistributed" or "shared for the common good" amongst those who have not worked as hard as I have or at all, I might consider socialism, but... Oh, right... We already have all that: It's called welfare.

But, that's not enough socialism me. You're right, Obama, let's add universal health care, too. Just ask England and Canada and a bevy of other countries what they think of that plan. I'm mean, really, who wants their doctor to be competitive and eager to be the best he can be? It's just my life and my health we're talking about, after all. Doctors really should be pushed into mediocrity. Look what government-run school systems have done for students and teachers.

Why stop there?

Let's increase capital gains taxes and raise employment taxes for businesses. "But Barack promises not to raise our income taxes!" Good plan, you ignorant jackass. I buy my gas, my food, my [insert your product or service here] from companies who will pay **higher employment taxes** which will then get passed on to me via the cost of my gas, my food my [insert your product or service here]. Take Economics 101 as a chaser to that Obama pill you're swallowing. It will be sure to remove that slick coating from the Obama pill, leaving the bitter, jagged shards of economic failure.

I hope that Obama can follow through on his promises to practically dismantle our military. I mean, we're practically on our own planet with no enemy states who want to kill us, so why waste money protecting ourselves?! That's just crazy talk. Enemies... People hating us... Silly. It's not like anyone is going to sneak on to an airplane, take it over, and then ram it into important buildings. That only happens in Hollywood.

I feel really great about Obama, now that he's severed a decades-long relationship with a silver-tongued, radical, anti-American, racist, hypocritical, self-proclaimed man of God. I also have to say that I feel that I can completely trust Obama, especially because he cavorts with completely unrepentant domestic terrorists and real estate scam artists. It totally conjures up a picture of a warm spring day with fuzzy bunnies and children playing in freshly cut grass and a creepy ice cream truck with a clown and, "Help Support Recovering Child Molesters" painted on the side.

Oh, yeah! We can't forget the great American patriot, Michelle Obama! She's finally proud of her country after 40-some years. I'm so happy for her! Welcome aboard, Michelle!

Barack Hussein Obama is thanking Allah for that invisible duct tape the campaign drones put around his wife's pie hole.

Obama '08!!!